{"id":1640,"date":"2024-03-31T17:59:23","date_gmt":"2024-03-31T14:59:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/?p=1640"},"modified":"2026-07-27T11:30:44","modified_gmt":"2026-07-27T08:30:44","slug":"tear-and-snow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/tear-and-snow\/","title":{"rendered":"Tear and Snow \/ April 5 \/ SAMCA"},"content":{"rendered":"

here is a link to the recording of the performance Translucent Matter on 5 April 25<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

poems, Critique and Humanism Publishing, 2023<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Born of Tear and Snow<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In winter, things get snug<\/p>\n

the roads narrow and converge<\/p>\n

people are hiding in their clothes, showing<\/p>\n

only the bare necessities, now an ear, now an eye,<\/p>\n

to find their way north and south<\/p>\n

In the gardens the snails have slept a 100 year sleep<\/p>\n

only here and there the snowdrops gathered in groups laugh<\/p>\n

yellow and green tinkle-clang shyly<\/p>\n

the petals of their calyxes have the shape of<\/p>\n

of snow crystals, of snow<\/p>\n

flowers on the windows.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When I was born, my grandmother<\/p>\n

gave my mother<\/p>\n

a bunch of snowdrops –<\/p>\n

grandma standing on the first floor,<\/p>\n

looking up at mother, who carries me<\/p>\n

in her arms, clutching the bouquet,<\/p>\n

as if to keep it.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

When Eve was expelled from paradise,<\/em><\/p>\n

and wanders without hope across the snowy plain,<\/em><\/p>\n

an angel comes and creates a flower of snow,
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

and the flower speaks to Eve:<\/em><\/p>\n

Anything past <\/em><\/p>\n

returns again.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u0422. Lessing<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Self-portrait with wind<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

rough<\/p>\n

the wind is a whirl<\/p>\n

of dusty leaves grasses<\/p>\n

and midges<\/p>\n

a woman<\/p>\n

sitting under a tree<\/p>\n

motionless<\/p>\n

body fluttering<\/p>\n

her hands want to<\/p>\n

express something<\/p>\n

but the fingers are<\/p>\n

curled inward in the palm like<\/p>\n

a bird that cannot yet fly<\/p>\n

in the tree<\/p>\n

crown with sharp thin leaves thickly<\/p>\n

side by side<\/p>\n

sparrows blue and rustling<\/p>\n

the woman’s head is transparent<\/p>\n

the thoughts are seen<\/p>\n

standing on little chairs<\/p>\n

grey- blue and whispering<\/p>\n

the sparrows above are a world of<\/p>\n

feathers and glory<\/p>\n

the midges sometimes call<\/p>\n

with a voice which the wind amplifies and<\/p>\n

envelops like hair<\/p>\n

her head<\/p>\n

where the eyes are there are<\/p>\n

little purple shadows, paws of<\/p>\n

memories<\/p>\n

suddenly her body sings<\/p>\n

(without voice) this is a song<\/p>\n

(without words)<\/p>\n

how does<\/p>\n

her body know this song?<\/p>\n

the wind says<\/p>\n

sure where it comes from<\/p>\n

too, but no one asks<\/p>\n

the wind<\/p>\n

where it comes from<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting for the North<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

People walk along the streets<\/p>\n

as if they were gliding boats in a<\/p>\n

winter sea<\/p>\n

sometimes they wave their hands<\/p>\n

it’s the usual greeting<\/p>\n

it means \u201cHere’s the winter sea sheltering us!\u201d<\/p>\n

sometimes they touch<\/p>\n

their noses with a glove, it’s a sign \u201cGood day,<\/p>\n

how’s life!\u201d<\/p>\n

My friend, born in<\/p>\n

Ventspils, says that very rarely<\/p>\n

but it happens, the boats collide<\/p>\n

then they get philosophical and<\/p>\n

get engaged, or they invite<\/p>\n

each other for smoked fish and beer in<\/p>\n

their warm houses, which look<\/p>\n

like cabins, and they all have slippers with thick soles<\/p>\n

to forget the swaying on the deck<\/p>\n

(their language too – it’s like stomping with slippers)<\/p>\n

I can’t judge (hence, from afar)<\/p>\n

how they smile<\/p>\n

men have moustaches no doubt<\/p>\n

and find it easier<\/p>\n

but women and children<\/p>\n

have more smiles in store<\/p>\n

the eyes of the northern people<\/p>\n

are most likely clear blue<\/p>\n

their eyelids are anchor-shaped<\/p>\n

and when they say \u201cYes\u201d the anchors drop slightly<\/p>\n

and for a moment the boats<\/p>\n

stop<\/p>\n

and their sea hearts<\/p>\n

gurgle with a strange<\/p>\n

rhythm<\/p>\n

the northern people<\/p>\n

call the gurgle<\/p>\n

RIN \u201cSaga\u201d and tell, each<\/p>\n

differently,<\/p>\n

how they were<\/p>\n

born in<\/p>\n

sea storms<\/p>\n

in boats of<\/p>\n

black yew…<\/p>\n

I think the drinking of coffee<\/p>\n

and tea suits them<\/p>\n

so well to<\/p>\n

gain equilibrium<\/p>\n

in this sea-life<\/p>\n

in which the imagination is<\/p>\n

the very beating heart of the sea<\/p>\n

(their clocks measure not<\/p>\n

minutes, seconds, but beats)<\/p>\n

I arrive<\/p>\n

at 3 o’clock north time<\/p>\n

called<\/p>\n

\u201cthe hour of the arrival of<\/p>\n

the guest of sea foam and whispers\u201d<\/p>\n

a.k.a. friend who I don’t know yet<\/p>\n

but have dreamed of as<\/p>\n

a glowing fish<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dream Grammar<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2.5 by 4 sq. meters<\/p>\n

full of night sleep<\/p>\n

in the corner the bag which<\/p>\n

I rarely take when<\/p>\n

walking, it holds<\/p>\n

many dreams because it is<\/p>\n

the first thing I see<\/p>\n

every morning, left<\/p>\n

on the handle of the wardrobe<\/p>\n

its door is half closed<\/p>\n

and dreams can enter<\/p>\n

into it, some sneak in through the<\/p>\n

blinds, I open the window, but<\/p>\n

I still hope that<\/p>\n

most of them like my room<\/p>\n

and stay at least a few hours<\/p>\n

(that dream about the glowing fish<\/p>\n

is still lurking somewhere<\/p>\n

in the corners)<\/p>\n

even in the radiator, in the<\/p>\n

backs of the old armchair<\/p>\n

there are a few that feel comfortable<\/p>\n

and safe (that dream with my grandmother<\/p>\n

when she was young)<\/p>\n

a whiff of some dreams stays<\/p>\n

forever, it seems to me that it is lingering<\/p>\n

in the corners of the objects, so<\/p>\n

more and more often I touch them gently<\/p>\n

without touching the corners<\/p>\n

the objects still need<\/p>\n

dreams, otherwise<\/p>\n

they will feel<\/p>\n

cheated<\/p>\n

the dreams change them \u2013<\/p>\n

have you noticed? –<\/p>\n

dream = corner, where the E of dream shifts<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

here is a link to the recording of the performance Translucent Matter on 5 April 25   poems, Critique and Humanism Publishing, 2023   Born of Tear and Snow   In winter, things get snug the roads narrow and converge people are hiding in their clothes, showing only the bare necessities, now an ear, now […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2146,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"single-books.php","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books"],"acf":{"photo_gallery":{"gallery":[[]]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1640"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2491,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1640\/revisions\/2491"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2146"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shadowstreetsea.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}